Sight Beyond Sight
by Timid Mew
Summary: Mikasa ponders over the loss of her sight, making her feel isolated and detached. Eren, however, quickly shows her that even though she's lost the use of her eyes, she still has him.
**A/N:** **Alright, here's an example of how much my writing skills have deteriorated for having been away for a while working on maybe just two works? Maybe three. Over a span of a couple of months. Probably more than that. I'm so sorry** AlphaofDarkness **, this thing is riddled with errors so it's not as good, but I hope that it's at least a decent read to pass some time before I post something new and, hopefully, better. Otherwise, please enjoy~**

* * *

She wasn't used to this; this uselessness. There was nothing, no shape or form that she could recognize in the brightness or in the darkness to put it more accurately. Her eyes were open, her usual calm and calculating gaze staring straight at the door, waiting, always waiting.

They search, a dark color, a light color, all depending on the intensity of her stare. They moved as if they knew where to look, towards the old weary door knob, listening for the familiar creak of it's lock coming undone. Waiting for the click of the door opening and revealing her daily visitor only to have hours go by with no one coming over.

Her hands are at her dress, fingers curling over the fabric. Pulling and tightening, wrinkling her attire in silent frustration as she lowers her gaze to stare at the blank floor. Her hair, short and pitch black falls lightly over her face. They tickle at her cheeks and she swipes a hand over to push them aside despite the action doing nothing but cease the irritating sensation. A sigh escapes as she waits just a little more, staring at what she could not see.

The hours feel like an eternity as she just sits there, doing nothing but waiting and it's driving her mad.

She can hear the winds pick up from outside. Rushing past the old cabin where she resides and she guesses that he'll be back soon from his errands. Maybe an hour or two left before then.

She sighs, picking herself up from where she sat. Her hand instinctively reaches out to touch the nightstand and begin trailing towards the wall. Her fingers glide smoothly over the surface, noting every curve or edge through their pads and committing it to memory.

A week in this place and she already has the majority of the housing memorized as best as she's able. The rough texture of the wooden walls shaved well enough to avoid any nasty splinters. The furniture of chairs and cushions and the items lying here and there. From boxes and baskets to pots and pans, all of the things necessary for daily living and she is reminded of old times. From the sight she used to have, she can remember Carla moving about getting chores done and cooking breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

The memories are so vivid that she can feel her fingertips twitch with a sudden longing to help. A sudden reminder that she has to do something, clean or cook, or even her old past times of embroidery. The smells she can recall and maybe even the activities she was doing at the time. Either playing with Eren or just keeping his mother company and offering her help in whatever it was she was doing. She can almost see her there, right in front of her, offering that smile she would always greet her with.

It's pleasant and loving and she swears she can almost see her with the sun shining behind her. She's only a arm's length away, it would be simple to just reach out and touch her.

A random noise disturbs her, a groan from the old structure perhaps, but it was enough to make her jump and the darkness comes back. The hand that had strayed from its perch immediately comes back to steady herself. Her eyes are wide open, not of fear, but of the urge to see. She looks somewhere along the roof, searching and struggling in vain. Whether it was to determine where the sound had come from or if it was just her searching for what is gone, she isn't quite certain she knows which.

She really hated those noises. She would have to tell Eren that there may be something weakening on the rooftop. Those sounds unnerve her. As if she is in a cage enveloped in darkness and someone outside is banging at the bars from every which way at random intervals. Taunting her, mocking her.

Back then, when she was still in training and later in the corps, she was a vital warrior. Proficient in the use of her gear and wielding strength that surpassed many of her peers. An asset to cutting flesh with sharp precision using the same strength she held now.

However, that very same power is near meaningless in her current state.

Grey eyes slowly move from looking somewhere ahead of her, lowering along with her head towards the floor while her hand still clings to the doorframe she's come upon.

She can't find it in her to take her hand away and she can't find it in her to continue venturing around the dark home.

Instead, she tries to go back to bed, following the familiar path she had memorized by touch. It's a small thing to have in compensation. A terribly small thing, but she supposes she can't complain. She still has her organs all in one place, she's still perfectly healthy, and she's still alive along with most of her friends and family. She had no excuse, even if Eren didn't seem to agree at times.

Faster than she would have thought, she returns to their room, her hand now flattened against the soft mattress. Slowly, she climbs onto it. She isn't the least bit tired, her mind wide awake and running far too much than she'd like. But there's nothing else to fill in the emptiness for now. Her current situation is still a little bit new for her to come to a daily routine that doesn't involve sitting like a doll.

The two of them discussed that they would get there in their own pace. So until then, she'll wait with her eyes open or her eyes closed; neither really mattered.

Other memories come as she slowly settles in her place, ones from critical points in the military. A vast amount of titans, all of them fearsome and terrible. Body parts flying off with boulders and debris, blood sizzling and wires whirring to get their owners to higher ground and away from groping hands. The rush of the harsh wind biting at her skin, the pull of her anchors and the weight of her swords stained red with abnormal blood; she could remember all of it.

Even as she closes her eyes in new search of sleep, she cannot shake them. Forever trapped inside her in the form of horrible nightmares of all she's seen throughout her small life thus far. The good and the bad, but so far only the bad come and visit her in her short hours of rest.

Ranging from the night of her parents murder to the gruesome sights she and many others have witnessed, the sounds, the pain; everything.

Her fingers twitch. There is a subtle fear encroaching upon her that makes her shudder. She wishes there was some other way to occupy herself while her beloved is away. She turns on her side and just simply thinks; thinks of something to do, something else to think of that didn't involve death and survival, as her lids slowly close over sightless eyes. Her breathing slows over a short time, as does her thoughts until she is no longer aware of her surroundings or her memories.

* * *

"Mikasa..." a voice whispers gently. There's a hand on her shoulder, nudging her a little more. "Hey Mikasa, wake up."

Her eyes snap open, her mouth sucking in a sharp gasp suddenly as her head snaps to look over her shoulder.

Eren feels his heart sink as he watches her for a moment in the room dimly lit with moonlight. A short moment where there is nothing but fear and confusion in her expression as her eyes blindly search for the source of his voice and touch.

"Eren?" she whispers, turning and reaching out a cautious hand. The tone of her voice is almost fearful.

"Yes, it's me." he wastes no time to grab her hesitant hand, pulling it close and over his cheek. Hoping it will alleviate the fear in her voice. He can see her eyes immediately come and meet his own, but he knows it to be an unconscious action. She cannot see him and he knows she never will again.

And it hurts.

She sighs in response, her shoulders relaxing with a heavy, relieved sigh as her fingers gently caress the side of his face, running through the hair that has begun to grow just a bit too long. Sleep is still heavy in her, tugging at her to put her head back onto the pillow, but the feel of him so close and just him being home is barely enough for her to fight it and ignite childish excitement. She smiles at him, her eyes mirroring the expression with a subtle shine adding to their color, despite the fading fog over them.

"You're home." her smile widens as her other hand comes to bring him closer and the young man can't help but smile with her.

Her hands pull him in until their foreheads touch and a soft kiss pleasantly greets her. The fleeting motion always leaves her pleasantly surprised, the sensation just a bit more intimate than it seems. She hears him exhale gently as he moves to lie with her, intent on joining her in sleep. A part of her is relieved that she can return to the calming reprieve dreamless slumber grants her, but another craves his attention.

She'd been alone for quite a while since they moved here. A very long while at that with her having nothing to do and it has frustrated her.

Wordlessly, her hands continue to massage his scalp, clearing through the tangles the winds have twisted and gently soothing away the pangs and aches the day has grounded in him. Of the irritations from others and the frustrations he's built up, carefully her fingers unwind everything.

He allows her, enjoying her touch and company as she silently tends to him. His eyes are closed but his eyebrows furrow, feeling the tension leave his head pleasantly that it leaves him in a desirable lull. He leans into her hands, sighing contently and becoming close to sleep.

Mikasa, however, is now too far awake to allow her love to leave her alone. She can't see his expression but she can feel the way his body becomes heavy and lax beside her, so she raises herself so that she is just barely hovering over him. She leaves a gentle kiss at his temple, quick and soft and then trails them over to his eyebrows and to his closed eyes. There is movement under them that stirs her. She smiles again and simply continues her innocent ministrations. Rubbing his head and massaging his scalp just for a little while longer.

Her fingers trail over to his jaw, tracing over it and an image flashes in her head. She can almost see him, but this time grief doesn't poison her like it had the first weeks she had been without sight. No, instead she becomes alive with intent. She can still see him in a way, she can still recognize the feel of him as well as his voice when he calls her. His skin is warm and the contours of his body is familiar, from his neck down his shoulders and further. As if she's learning about him all over, only more closely than before.

Eren opens his eyes and looks up at her. Her expression is gentle as she just simply touches him, through his clothes, under his clothes. He doesn't mind as his entire focus is on her face. He can see her eyes try and follow the motions of her fingers, over each muscle, each curve and edge of his physique, but soon they stop and settle for just simply memorizing what she already knew. There is no disappointment however in her search, he can tell by the unhurried trail of her hands caressing tense muscles and aching joints.

He exhales and reaches out to touch her cheek.

Mikasa's eyes widen just a bit at the unforeseen act, her mind too wrapped up in her mapping that she did not notice his arm move.

His thumb gently rubs against her cheek and she smiles. A subtle reaction, but it makes his eyes shine with new intent and he lifts himself onto his elbows and then up in a sitting position. For a moment he notices the way her body moves aside with uncertainty and he stares at her eyes.

They can be read a little more easily now. Slight hints of fear and anxiety, expressed signs of happiness and sadness; all of it can be seen and all of it lashes out at him. Reminding him that he was powerless to help her when she needed it and feeling helpless when she told him her sight was rapidly failing. He soothes her with another light caress of his hand on her cheek and gently coaxes her to come closer.

His other hand moves to her waist while the one resting on her cheek brings her in slowly.

She hesitates for only a moment, pulling back in slight trepidation. She tries in vain to look at him, wishing and wanting, but the thick fog only becomes thicker.

Seeing her pause and search for him pains him, but he works up a smile knowing well that she is still not quite accustomed to her state. Not fully. So without warning he captures her lips in a gentle kiss, hoping to reassure her.

Mikasa is barely able to let out a gasp when he kisses her, her eyes wide open and staring straight at the man who holds her. His expression is lost in the dark, but the feel of him so close to her, holding and kissing her is soothing and slowly she begins to relax.

There's a rush of both excitement and fear that flows through her when she feels his hands begin to trail over her. Touching much the same as she did to him. Learning the way her body curves and the muscle beneath flex, it feels pleasant even if she cannot fathom her love's expression.

"Mm..." She pulls away to breathe as Eren only moves his lips to trace her jaw down to the curve of her neck. A rush of warmth shoots up over her neck and face as the feel of him kissing and nipping at her sensitive skin makes her shudder pleasantly in response.

Every small thing he does is enough to make her gasp and jump in response, a gentle touch at her thigh, a quick lap of his tongue on heated skin. Every part of her has become highly sensitive and it frightens her just as much as it excites her. Even so, she does not think it is a bad thing. Her hands come to his head once again, her fingers combing through his hair, an act meant to soothe her as well as him; hoping to calm him in his pursuit.

It's a quiet request that he has learned to recognize during these times of intimacy. His eyes shoot up to look at her, looking for that expression that often comes along with her actions. Her head is turned away from him, eyes downcast and cheeks flushed. He's just about to pull away and ask if she is alright until he feels her grasp at his clothing and gently tug him down with her.

He follows without question, but he silently wishes for her to look at him. It's a selfish wish because what he wants, as well as what she wants, she will never be able to do; not like she used to.

It's now he who hovers over her, his hands gently massage into her skin and to her muscles, trying to ease her back to comfort. A gentle kiss is placed at her jaw, small and yearning and it at least makes her turn to him.

Her eyes glance up at him, staring at nothing as her breathing picks up and her hands search for him. A small whimper escapes her when she feels his knee part her legs, nudging upwards just a little. He settles on top of her, holding up his weight as he dips his head into the curve or her neck, his mouth opening to gently suck at her skin. She fidgets under him, her body squirming with how pleasurable it feels.

One hand sneaks its way down to her thigh to lightly bring up her gown, caressing her thigh in the process. She flinches when it skims past her waist, her stomach jumping at the excitement he brings out in her.

"E-Eren..." she calls quietly, fearing her voice to be too loud were she to speak normally. The silence of the night just as thick as the darkness that veils over her sight.

He hums in response, picking up his head to look down at her. As soon as he does, her hands reach for him, shakily slipping under his shirt to feel him. "What is it?" he asks lazily, bringing his lips to her temple and bringing his nose to her hair.

Mikasa doesn't respond at first, far too preoccupied with his wandering hands and sweet kisses.

Every touch of his hands and lips tingle her skin, quicken her heartbeat and make her absolutely breathless. She can't see him, can't see the way his eyes stare at her with longing and love nor will she see him smile at her, but she can feel him. Each gentle caress is his own way of trying to ease her, comfort her when he notices that she's focusing her eyes on him for too long. It's a natural longing to have and he can't blame her, but he'll try his best to compensate with his kisses and his affections.

Another whimper escapes her and he smiles knowing that she's still not used to how sensitive she's become. His hand gently grasps her bare breast from underneath her garments and another sound escapes her. She squirms again, fighting a moan that threatens to come out when he massages her, his finger gently skimming over the bud making her shut her eyes and throw her head to the side. Her back arches, wanting more of him. Her hands come up to tug him closer and nudge away his shirt so that she can freely feel him.

"Eren..." she whispers, her eyes opening in habit to look for him.

The man above her quickly pulls away to make quick work of tossing away his shirt. Returning just as soon as he is free to capture her lips once more and gently slide her underwear down to her knee, touching her most private area with careful fingers.

Mikasa gasps again, sharp and alarmed.

"Yes?" he questions again, his breath hot against her flushed face.

She jumps when his index finds her sensitive clit and begins to gently rub small circles. She flinches and lets out another moan, her breathing picking up as his hands continue to pleasure her. The tip of his tongue gently traces her lips as he watches her face contort in pleasurable agony, being careful to not overdo his petting. Her legs twitch and writhe at his sides.

A hand goes back to knead at her breast, pulling and teasing her sensitive nipple. Heating up her skin and making her all the more aware of him and his hands. Blood rushes to her head, her heartbeat thundering in her chest and hammering in her ears as he slowly brings her closer and for once, it's all she can hear. Her own breathy gasps drown out his own calm exterior, his voice a gentle lull that can no longer be deciphered with his hands touching her. And though she can see nothing, she can feel his gaze on her face, watching her.

Suddenly he bucks against her and his fingers move lower. A grunt escapes him, but before she can even comprehend it, her pushes two fingers into her. Pumping them in and out of her wet core. Curling his digits and stretching her, rubbing her inner walls and thrusting them in and out in a quick manner.

"Nngh..." She really can't remember being so sensitive to his ministrations before, not so soon and not so fast. A shudder runs through her, coiling tight near her belly as he brings her closer and closer. She can feel his lips pepper small kisses at her jaw, tempting her to relax but what he's doing to her, she can do anything but.

Eren decides to angle his hand to a point where he can go just a little deeper while his thumb trails up to play with her clit.

" _Ah!_ "

When she comes, her voice is lost and her body trembles while her walls contract over his fingers. Quivering breaths leave her as she keeps her eyes shut while her beloved soothes her with a kiss.

"Are you okay?" he asks. She can hear the smile in his voice as he pulls his hand out of her.

His lips remain on her skin, skimming down back towards her bare neck, red from his bites. She focuses on the feel of him just simply touching her as her body hums from the pleasure he's wrought upon her. Her legs are trembling and her sex contracts over nothing as she comes to anticipate more from him.

"Mm-hmm..." she moans. Once again her eyes open, a vain attempt, but it's quickly brushed aside when she feels his hand reach down and fumble with his pants.

A rush of warmth spreads throughout her at the thought of what's to come and it only excites her even more.

He positions himself to her core only to feel her hand at his chest, stopping him.

"Mikasa?" he whispers lowly, suppressing a frustrated growl from how wound up she made him before, but stills himself.

"I just want to feel..." her sentence trails as her hand follows suit, touching over the span of his bare chest. Over hard muscle and heated skin, tracing the contours of his frame and the plane of his body.

His eyes soften when he sees her eyes, slightly fogged, try and follow her movements, blinking occasionally when touches a sensitive area. A smile curves over her lips at the sharp gasps he makes and the frustrated groans that leave him.

His short pants leave him as she watches her trail her hands over him, her smile never leaving and it seems like she's learning how to read him; memorizing him. Copying the lines and planes into her mind and painting herself a picture of the Eren that is with her right now. What features have changed, what slow healing injuries has he sustained and from what. He grunts when she gets to his waist, her slim fingers caressing past his hipbones to trail even lower and there's no containing that frustrated growl that leaves him.

It's almost like it's _he_ who has become more sensitive to _her_.

He almost bucks his hip into her hand when she carefully wraps her fingers over him. She offers a slow, firm stroke over his erection.

"Ngh..."

To distract himself, he buries his head into her shoulder, his mouth opening to lick and bite at her. His hands go to rub at her sides, going to her legs and dipping under to touch that bundle of nerves once more.

A small sound escapes her in surprise, her entire lower half jerking however, it's unknown whether it was towards him or away from him.

"Eren!" she whines when he stirs her up once and it causes her to tighten her hold on him.

He grunts in response, his brows furrowing in a seething glare that he has no other way of relaying to her aside from a sharp nip to her collarbone. Her hands let go immediately and rush to grab fistfuls of his hair, gently pulling and raking her nails over his scalp. He groans and bucks again, wanting to be free of this torture of watching and feeling her writhing silently against him.

Her legs open wider and Eren props himself up to his elbows, one hand brings up her leg as the other holds her.

With a few urgent thrusts he enters her, the wetness making the penetration easy. Her walls tighten at the pleasant intrusion and a shudder wracks through both of them. He stills and watches her expression. Her eyes are half-lidded and her breathing picked up, her arms hold onto his back and he can feel just how much she's enjoying it. Her fingers curl into claws lightly raking into his skin.

"E...Ere..."

She's stunned really. That one fluid thrust managed to shake her and make her body revert to a quivering mess. She moans loudly, unintentionally squeezing around him and forcing him to snap his hips forwards once more.

" _Ah! Nnnggh..._ "

He begins a slow rhythm, holding her by the hips and pulling away only to thrust back in. He listens to the small sounds leave her, feels the way her body reacts and tries to follow in his movements, meeting him in his thrusts.

The coiling comes back, centering just below her stomach as he becomes more urgent, picking up his pace and going harder. The pleasure that meets her with each motion of his hips comes back stronger than before and when it hits a certain point within her, it's enough to have her near sobbing.

Her hands guide his head towards her, slowly. And while his mouth nips at her flesh, a hand comes up to massage her breast. His index and thumb soon pinch and tease a nipple. All of this coming at her all at once soon proves too much for her to handle when her nails claw at his unguarded back, leaving rows of welts to burn at him. Her voice rises in pitch with moans and cries speaking of her sensational agony.

A choked cry escapes her when he brings her to a peak. Her walls contracting over him and tightening to urge him into his own climax. The extra moisture of her release aids him to pump harder and faster into her until he stills within her.

"Mm!"

He sighs in pleasant relief as he brings most of his weight off of her. Her hands, however, keep hold of him when he tries to get off her and onto his side.

She grimaces in slight discomfort from his movements within her, but he soon sees the cause for her uncertain hold. It's a subtle detail, but he manages to catch it, so he leans forward to graze his lips over her cheek; above the scar he had inflicted upon her so long ago.

"I'm right here..." he whispers to her ear as he kisses her softly, a hand coming up to move a few stray hairs away from her face. "I'm right here."

Mikasa doesn't even try to direct her sightless gaze over towards his voice or even in his direction.

It's an odd feeling she gets sometimes in these moments of intimacy. A feeling of loss. She can feel him beside her, hear his voice both soothing and wanting, frustrated and everything that is distinctly him, but because she can't see him it becomes hard to remember. Were she like before, she would never even consider the fact of not being to remember her precious Eren, her friend and her love. But she is not like before, not entirely.

She can still feel him when they're like this or even when he's guiding her from here to there, can hear his voice and read the irritations he still gets over simple matters, the softness in the tones when they're alone or even the playful conversations they have with others; she would have no problem detecting him these senses, but without sight it's another matter.

It almost doesn't feel real at times. It's a needless fear, especially when he's right here holding her in his arms, touching and speaking with her. It's utterly ridiculous, but it's still there and it will plague her.

So Eren will soothe her with words of idle chatter, sometimes a kiss, sometimes just simply lying with her until she feels it has passed.

For now, he reassures her once more, stroking her hair and bringing her along to lie with him. His hand pulls the covers over them as they now settle comfortably close to each other.

"Hey," he calls to her, his voice nearly a shout from that pause of silence.

Her head perks at his voice but he sees that her eyes once again do not attempt to look at him. Simply because she can't, not really. Even if she tries to hold on to pretending, it won't do her any good.

"I'm sorry..." he whispers, nuzzling his face into her own, holding her tighter with a gentle squeeze.

"There's nothing to apologize for." she smiles at him, pulling his face closer to leave a quick kiss at his cheek. Hoping it would be enough to assure him as much as it is to assure herself of the fears she hold. "I'm just happy to be alive with you here with me." she sighs, snuggling closer as the man watches her slowly drift to sleep.

It's a while before she actually does fall asleep, something that occasionally becomes difficult but it's to be expected. She won't regain her sight and there is much that she will never be able to look upon with her family as they discover more of this unknown world, but it's seemingly worth it after all they've been through. As long as she has him beside her, nothing else really mattered. As long as they continued to have moments like these where he will hold her and show her the love she's longed for.


End file.
